


You're Turning Heads When You Walk Through The Door

by Sheynora



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Oblivious Stiles, Pining, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 05:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheynora/pseuds/Sheynora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence:</p>
<p>Kate knows the weak link in the Hale Pack.</p>
<p>It'll be easy; seduce Derek and use his love to destroy the pack. Only... this loud-mouthed, klutzy teenager named Stiles keeps getting in the way. Derek can't notice Kate if he's too busy noticing Stiles.</p>
<p>Damn Stiles for being so sexy</p>
<p>---------------------------------</p>
<p>Or the AU where the Hale Fire didn't happen, but Kate Argent plans to make it happen. Except Stiles and his accidental sexiness keep ruining Kate's plans to seduce Derek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Turning Heads When You Walk Through The Door

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the same year as Season 3a, so Stiles can have his longer hair.
> 
> AU where Gerard and Kate Argent never lived in Beacon Hills, so the Hale Fire never happened, and also the encounter between Deucalion and Gerard never happened. As a result, there's no Alpha Pack, no evil Druid, or an evil Peter who bit Scott. Even though it is years later, Derek is still punishing himself for Paige's death.
> 
> Most of this is a light-hearted comedy, however, the first few paragraphs are used to map out Kate's previous crimes and her future plans. It is nothing worse than the stuff that happens in the canon storyline, but if memories of past violence and statutory rape (though this time it isn't Derek but a different victim) and future plans of violence bother you, skip the first dozen or so paragraphs and it is all comedy from there.

Kate has been staking the house out for a week now and knows the family's routine. The house is dark and its 1 in the morning and she knows all the family is in bed. She smiles to herself and hefts the shotgun up to lean against her shoulder in a more comfortable position. She takes a moment to decide how she's going to do this. She's made two plans, and purposely hasn't decided which one she's going to use yet. The anticipation is fun, not knowing which way the night is going to play out. Is she going to sneak into the house, quietly shoot the family with the silencer on, going to relocate the corpses to the forest to bury both the bodies and the bloody sheets with them, clean up the house of all sight of blood, so come morning the family has just... disappeared. No one knows where. No one knows why. Maybe the family left in the dead of night. Maybe the family were running from something. Or maybe something got them. Who knows? The town will whisper about it for weeks.

 

Or maybe... maybe Kate will kick down the door. Maybe she'll yell loud enough to wake the entire family up from their sleep, jerked out of their peaceful slumber to a nightmare, a madwoman with a gun, and they'll try to run from her. Maybe the family's mom will run to the her kid's room, where her small two year old is sleeping, and try to run, to save her kid, when Kate shoots them down before they can reach the door. Maybe the mom will see her husband already dead when she tries to run, his head half-gone from a bullet that was discharged close to his head. Kate likes to shoot her targets when they are close if she can corner them, likes the extra amount of blood is produces, likes to see their insides hanging out of their bodies. They deserve it after all. This family may be human, but the mom, well, she was considered part of the pack. And when Kate sets out to destroy a pack, she kills the whole pack, every... last... person...

 

Break in quietly or kick down the door? Decision, decisions. Oh what the hell, Kate loves to hear the screams. She kicks down the door with a ferocious yell.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Kate is bored. The kills had been easy, and while she had spent a couple of days happily watching the news as the grisly murders were announced, loved to see how baffled the police were, the thrill can only keep her occupied for so long

 

She had spent years planning out this eradication. The Scillner pack is the largest pack in North America. Or was...

 

Now they are the smallest pack in North America, population: 0. All killed within a few months. Most of the pack was killed in her first strike, locked in their house, kept in by mountain ash, while they were slaughtered by hunters, one by one. Kate had made a deal with the local hunter family. The family had wanted the Scillner pack dead for decades now, but the pack had been strong, too strong. Kate, though, she was good at finding the weak links in a pack.

 

“Give me a few months,” Kate had told the hunters, “and I'll have them good and trapped for you.” And Kate had. She found the weak link, a lonely wolf who didn't stay as close to the pack as she should. And Kate had slowly seduced her. The wolf was just so lonely, and looked so lovely, a young girl of 15, and she had been easy to seduce. The girl just wanted to be loved, and Kate had given her that love, had taught her love in her bed. Taught the girl how to lick Kate out just right, how to be dirty just for Kate, and it had been lovely. Kate had told the girl how much she loved her, how much she wanted to be her mate, and since the girl was young, it was easy to hide the tell-tale signs of a lie. And the girl had given Kate the key to her pack's home, had come home with to her pack with Kate's scent on her so often the family was used to the scent, wouldn't consider Kate's presence a threat when she crept to the house in the middle of the night and circled the house with mountain ash. And then Kate had called the hunter family and told them, “They are all yours.”

 

And it had been thrilling, watching just outside the house, as the hunters found new and creative ways to kill all the wolves trapped in the house one-by-one. But the high only carried Kate for a few weeks, and then the boredom began to creep in. And well, there were few human members to the pack who lived with their own families. Humans who had been born into the werewolf family, but had chosen to marry another human. Families who had moved into their nearby town, but really, they were still pack. Still came to visit their wolf family every full moon. And Kate thought, why not extend the chase? Nothing like a hunt to keep her occupied. And so she had hunted them down too, killed the humans and their families herself, but she had finished that task, and she was bored... again.

 

She was thinking of maybe the Martin pack. Had about 30 member, might keep her occupied for awhile, when her brother called her.

 

“Chris,” Kate has said, delighted. Her brother didn't call her that often. She was usually busy, he was busy. You know how it goes with family.

 

“Hi Kate,” Chris said, “Allison wants you to visit. Practically begged me to call you.”

 

“Oh?”  
  


Chris sighs, a good-humored sigh. “She has her first boyfriend, and I think she wants you to meet him.”

 

“Of course,” Kate said. Because ever since Allison's mom had died, nearly 10 years ago in a car accident, Kate had on occasion stepped in to try to be the woman of the family Allison could talk to, since she no longer had her mom. After all, one day they would tell Allison about the family business. And Allison would take up her mom's mantle, become the matriarch of the Argent family. Kate couldn't wait.

 

And then a lovely idea occurred to Kate.

 

“Is that pack still there? That Hale pack?” Kate asked.

 

“Yeah,” Chris said suspiciously. Kate makes a noise of disapproval in her throat.

 

“They keep to themselves, Kate, and don't hurt anyone,” Chris tells her, firmly. He knows she's never had much love for werewolves. But he doesn't know about what she's done to the Scillner pack. She was careful to make sure the hunters she made the pact with wouldn't say anything to anyone about her involvement. She won't have to worry about Christ watching her too closely. And if she makes this pack's eradication look like an accident, like maybe a tragic house fire, Chris loves her too much to let himself wonder if she was involved in the “accident”. Oh yeah, a house fire. She'd be able to hear the family scream as they burned, and she is getting a thrill just thinking about it.

 

“Of course,” Kate says sweetly, “I'll be there next week.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

It's hard to believe Allison is already a junior in high school. Kate sweeps Allison into a hug as soon she sees her.

 

“Hi sweetie,” Kate says, and feels like a proud mom. Allison looks old enough to start hunting. Kate should talk to Chris, see if she can't get permission to start training Allison. And if Chris doesn't give her permission, maybe Kate will do it anyways. No sense wasting a golden opportunity.

 

“What's this I hear about a boyfriend?” Kate teases and Allison blushes pink as she giggles.

 

“I can't believe dad told you, I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

 

“Who is this lucky young man? I'm surprised Chris' glowering hasn't scared him off yet.”

 

“I'm not that bad,” Chris complains.

 

“Actually,” Allison sing-songs, “he's met dad's approval. Dad actually invited him to come watch Sunday night football with him.” Kate raises an eyebrow.

 

“Anyhow, he's on the lacrosse team. Want to come to the game on Friday to meet him?” Allison asks.

 

“I'd love to,” Kate says and then Allison is off, probably going to go call her boyfriend and tell him about her aunt coming to see his game.

 

“Ohhhh, a lacrosse player,” Kate says. Chris laughs.

 

“Scott sits on the bench. He has yet to play at a game, but Allison still comes to every practice and game like he's the star player,” Chris says with a rueful shake of his head. He's smiling, like he remembers when Allison's mom used to do the same thing for him, way back when they had all still just been kids, before werewolves had murdered Chris' and Kate's mom, before they knew about werewolves... Kate took a deep breath and tried to refocus back on the current moment.

 

“Ah, young love,” Kate jokes.

 

Kate gets to work on her plan starting the next day, because during the day Allison is at school and Chris is working at his job, like he forgets it's just a cover for what he really is. Kate decides it's the perfect time to start staking out the Hale family, get a feel for the family and how to best go about this.

 

The target is easy to decide on. The family is close-knit, and she'd be hard-pressed to get close to one without the others noticing and vetting her, and there's a good chance she wouldn't be able to hide her intentions from the scrutiny of the whole family. But there's one wolf who isn't as close to the others. He purposely holds himself apart from them. Its easy to spot, how he sits by himself at the local diner. And he's a good age too. Not as young as her previous target, he's in his 20s, but still young enough to make him too trusting.

 

And when Kate picks up Allison from school on Wednesday, the wolf is there too in his human form, in a Camaro, and Kate realizes he's there to give his younger sister and brother a ride home from school. But though the brother and sister are chattering at him, the wolf just stands in quiet misery and looks like he doesn't think he deserves to be there. Oh, this one is perfect.

 

And Kate is in luck. Because his younger brother and sister, Ben and Cora, who are twins, are in Allison's grade and it's easy to get the information she needs from Allison. Ben's on the lacrosse team and apparently the whole Hale family comes to cheer for him every game. Derek's going to be at the lacrosse game too this Friday and if Kate can get him by himself, well, she's ready to make her first move. He should be easy to get to get alone, he looks like he tries to keep to himself as much as possible.

 

It appears Kate's prediction hold true, because as soon as the lacrosse game has ended, a rousing victory for Beacon Hills, Derek quietly slips away from where he had been sitting with his family. Kate intercepts him before he can reach the parking lot, where he no doubt intended to get in his car and leave as soon as possible, wanting to just be alone. His shoulder are slumped despite the excitement in the air at another successful game. Oh, this one is punishing himself for something. He'll be so easy to manipulate.

 

Kate pretends to accidentally bump into him.

 

“Sorry,” she says to him while he holds out a hand to steady her.

 

“No, it's my fault,” he says, politely, “I should have been looking where I was going.” Kate gives him a shy smile and this one is going to be so easy, because he gives a shy smile back. Kate is going to twist this one up good. Maybe she'll leave this one alive. He's already eating himself up with guilt, add the deaths of his entire family, and it'll be delicious how broken he would be. Kate licks her lips.

 

“Derek!” a voice shouts and a boy from the lacrosse team comes stumbling into view.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

From the moment the lacrosse game has started, Stiles and Scott have paid zero attention to the game.

 

“Allison's aunt is here,” Scott hisses to Stiles.

 

“Do you think Derek is here? I mean, I think I saw the Hale family,” Stiles says rather worried.

 

“The Hale family is here every game,” Finstock yells from beside Stiles, right in his ear. Stiles winces. “Now shut up, so I can coach the team.”

 

“Right coach,” Stiles says and Scott nods. They only manage to stay quiet for about 20 seconds before they start talking again.

 

“What is she doesn't like me?” Scott moans.

 

“Do you think Derek ever looks at the bench while he's watching the game? I mean, maybe he's seen me? Do you think he's seen me?” Stiles asks.

 

“Get a move on, Jackson, hussle!” Coach Finstock yells, loud, and Stiles winces again because that is still pretty close to his ear and Finstock is LOUD.

 

“What if she absolutely hates me and forbids Allison from seeing me again?” Scott wheezes and Stiles grabs Scott's backpack so he can rifle through it for Scott's inhaler.

 

“Maybe I should see if Cora will talk to Derek about me. I could pay her, like 50 bucks or something, and tell her to put in a good word. You know, Stiles, on the lacrosse team? I heard he's funny and handsome, you should get to know him. Or wait... its Cora. To get her to do anything remotely nice I'll have to pay her more. Maybe 300, do you think that's enough?” Stiles asks as he hands Scott his inhaler. Scott takes a moment to use the inhaler to get his breath back.

 

“Left, go left... no! Your other left!” Finstock yells.

 

“I mean, she's going to sit here the entire game and see me never leave the bench. She'll tell Allison to break up with me because I have no skills! None, I can't even cook! Well, actually I can make a pretty good Chicken Parmesan, do you think I should cook her Chicken Parmesan?”

 

“Maybe I should just use the money to buy a TV. Everyone would like a TV right? Nothing says I'm a great guy like buying someone a TV. Maybe a teddy bear to go with it. Or no! Wait, one of those stuffed animal monkeys that you can twist into like, a pretzel shape and stuff, those are always fun,” Stiles says excitedly, and then pauses, and frowns in confusion. “Why are you talking about cooking?” Stiles asks Scott in confusion.

 

Scott asks Stiles back, with his own confused look on his face, “Why are you talking about monkeys that are pretzels?”

 

“No, they twist into pretzel shapes,” Stiles says exasperated, like that was the entire point of the conversation. What were they talking about again?

 

“Scott, Stiles,” the coach barks, “shut up and give me push-ups!”

 

“But coach, it's the middle of the game,” Stiles whines.

 

“Exactly, it'll keep you two from talking, push-ups now!” Finstock demands. And Stiles and Scott both groan and shuffle off the bench to drop and give 20. As soon as they finish, panting, they start to stand back up, but the coach yells, “Bilinski and McCall, lunges – now!”

 

“But...” Stiles protests.

 

“Lunges!” the coach yells. By the time Coach Finstock finally lets them both stop doing lunges, he and Scott are covered in sweat and moaning in pain. But Coach doesn't even notice, because he can finally coach the game without listening to the two of them yammer. Every single game those two talk like old gossiping women.

 

“Catch it, catch the goddamn ball!” Finstock yells, then yanks at his hair in frustration.

 

“Goddamn it, Greenburg, why do I even let you play!” Finstock screams, and he flings his baseball cap off his head and onto the ground in frustration.

 

But Greenburg's incompetence is a moot point, because Beacon Hills wins the lacrosse game and Stiles spends the rest of the game talking himself up to talking to Derek.

 

“I think I can do it,” Stiles says, “I can totally talk to him.”

 

“Yeah,” Scott says encouragingly and slaps Stiles on the back, “Man, this is worse than your crush on Lydia was.”  
  


“Don't remind me of that,” Stiles moans, “I don't need to remember my abject failure and her crushing rejection of me before I go talk to someone even hotter than she is.”

 

“You got this,” Scott says, because he is Stiles' best friend ever.

 

So the second Stiles spots Derek after the lacrosse game has ended and he can finally get away from crazy Finstock, he goes to talk to Derek, because this is the best opportunity ever. This is literally the perfect opportunity, because after watching and pining for Derek from afar for months now, he and Derek were finally introduced to each other a couple days ago. Stiles was at the vet clinic, because Deaton could use two vet assistants instead of just one now, and Scott had convinced Stiles it would be awesome if they both had a part-time job a the same place, so Stiles was now training to be a vet assistant just like Scott. And Derek had walked into the clinic. Deaton has greeted Derek like an old friend, which whoa, weird, because Stiles hasn't seen Deaton hang out with the Hale family, like, ever, but Deaton has said “and that is my assistant, Stiles” before ushering Derek into his office and Derek had nodded at Stiles. Had. Nodded. At. Him. Derek has acknowledged Stiles' existence. And now that Derek knows Stiles exists, it is the perfect excuse to talk to Derek. Or maybe not, but Stiles used flimsier excuses as to why he should go talk to Lydia last year, so Stiles was going to take it.

 

“Derek,” Stiles says, rushing over to him. And whoops, looks like Stiles just interrupted a conversation he was having with someone else. There's a woman there who is looking at Stiles with a raised eyebrow. Which, whatever. Stiles has this. They were introduced to each other. Derek knows he exists.

 

And now they can talk! They can talk about... Stiles isn't sure what they can talk about. The lacrosse game? Yeah, let's not remind Derek that he didn't even get to play, just sat on the bench. Oh wait, they both know Deaton! They can talk about Deaton.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

The kid who had just interrupted their conversation is spindly-legged and is he even old enough to be on the High School Lacrosse team? Kate smiles in amusement and is about to tell the guy to run along but the kid is already turned to Derek and is talking a mile a minute.

 

“Oh hey,” the guys says in a rush, “we just, you know, we both know Deaton, so I'd thought I'd come over and say hi.”

 

Kate's smile freezes. Those words could potentially mean a lot of things. To introduce yourself to a pack member by saying you know the pack emissary on a personal basis, well, that's a code for “I know you are werewolves and this is about werewolf business.” She pauses to take a closer look because he could be either an Omega looking to join the pack, which would be unfortunate because the pack will be extra skittish with a new pack member and will be on guard, or he's a human trying to tell Derek he knows what Derek is.

 

And if he wants Derek to know that he knows about werewolves, that means he's trying to tell him something. And oh, Kate recognizes the ploy in an instant. The boy is covered in sweat, and Kate can smell him with her own human senses. And he's eying Derek's exposed biceps. No doubt the boy smells interested. It's something Kate has done before to get a werewolf's attention. She'll go for a run, make sure she smells like exertion, like something that's been chased. And then she makes sure she gets hot and bothered, so when she goes over to talk to the werewolf, she smells like sex, like sweat and pheromones and prey. And werewolves, they can't help but pay attention to that smell. Kate watches Derek's face for a second, and yeah, Derek's nose just twitched. He's scenting the air.

 

Or maybe this kid just knows Deaton, and this has nothing to do with werewolves. Kate could be blowing this out of proportion. He's sweaty from lacrosse, he thinks Derek is cute, this isn't on purpose. Yeah, no, call Kate paranoid, but nothing is ever a coincidence.

 

“Deaton's training me,” the kid says. And woah. Kate pauses and takes a closer look at the guy. She can see Derek do the same. Deaton's training him. This kids has practically just spelled out he's an emissary in training. He more than knows about werewolves, he knows everything about werewolves, and he probably thinks like one too. The way he smells, that's no accident. Kate narrows her eyes.

 

“Deaton's... training you,” Derek repeats, like he wants to make sure he's getting the right message. The kid nods. Derek sniffs the air again. Damn it, Kate should've thought to go for a run before introducing herself to Derek. She just didn't realize there was competition, she had thought she had time to be subtle.

 

“Yeah, I'm Stiles. He introduced us?” Stiles says as he steps forward, hand extended, as if to re-introduce himself, and promptly stumbles. Stiles tips forward at first, then windmills his arms, and leans backward to try to right himself, but only overbalances and falls back on his ass, splayed out on the ground.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Stiles isn't sure what's happened at first. One moment he's babbling about how he's been introduced to Derek, which is humiliating because Derek apparently doesn't remember it, and then next thing he knows he's on the ground, blinking up at the sky. Fuck, he just tripped. He's talking to the most gorgeous guy he's ever seen, after finally working up the courage for months, and then he trips over his own feet. Which, humiliating! Oh my god, he wants to die of shame. Stiles quickly turns his head toward the lacrosse field to make sure Jackson or someone isn't here to see this, because if any of this classmates see this, he will be made fun of for months. He's sure his crush on Derek is no secret. Stiles has never been good at hiding his crushes. God, even Finstock knows about his crush on Derek. Stiles is going to die. No, he just wishes he could die. Then he won't have to see the mocking look on Derek's face when he stands back up.

 

Stiles takes a moment to collect himself, then carefully shifts around, wiggling his toes, his legs, hips, and torso to make sure he hasn't done any damage because wow, everything hurts. Stiles groans in pain. Note to self: falling on concrete is extremely painful. But everything seems to be in working order. He steels himself and stops looking towards the lacrosse field (which is coincidentally the opposite direction of where Derek's potentially mocking face is) and finally turns to look at Derek, and is relieved that Derek isn't smirking at him. Derek just looks... intense. Really staring at him. And Stiles has learned a long time ago when people stare at him, that usually means they are fighting the urge to punch him in the face. Stiles can be a bit... trying on the nerves... sometimes. Not his fault. He just says or does things sometimes that some people think are annoying. Like, never shutting up for one. Or maybe, like, walking over here, interrupting a conversation, and then falling on his ass could be annoying. Stiles is annoying Derek. Stiles should leave before Derek does actually punch him in the face.

 

Stiles scrambles to his feet, winces, and then waves at Derek, and as an afterthought, also waves to the woman next to him that has a pinched look on her face.

 

“I'm just going to...” Stiles says as he vaguely gestures toward the parking lot, “Nice to meet you, Derek,” and Stiles gets going while the going is good. During his strategic retreat he tries not to limp from the pain of his unexpected fall and rubs his sore ass. Damn, he's going to have a bruise.

 

Stiles is still rubbing his backside, shoulder slumped, when he gets to his Jeep and surprise, surprise, his dad is waiting for him.

 

“Hey son,” his dad said, clapping him on the back, “I wanted to say hi after the game but you were out of there quick.” His dad notices Stiles' pout and the hand Stiles has plastered to his own backside. His dad valiantly tries not to smile.

 

“You take a spill?”

 

“Yeah,” Stiles admits. The sheriff, his dad, poorly tries to hide a laugh behind a cough.

 

“You weren't even out on the field.”

 

“It was afterward! It's just, the ground is uneven okay?”

 

“You totally tripped over your own feet didn't you?”

 

“I'm not answering that!”

 

“Come on, let's get you home so you can get a shower, you smell.”

 

“I smell?” Stiles asks panicked and tries to sniff under his own arm. But he's been around all the other lacrosse players and its hard to even smell that shit anymore.

 

“Yeah, you didn't even play, but kid, you sure smell like you did.”

 

“Its coach's fault! He made me and Scott do push-ups and lunges the entire game. That 's more exercise than playing the game,” Stiles whines, and then it hits him what his dad just said. Oh. My. God. He just talked to Derek while he was covered in sweat. And smelled like BO. Stiles is officially the worst social reject. Ever.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Kate almost laughs when Stiles falls, because she thought maybe he was competition there for a second, but he's just pathetic. Only the laugh dies in her throat a second later because that was no accident. He lands splayed out on the ground, on his back, belly up, legs splayed, and after a moment, he turns his head to the side, exposing his neck. He's just lying there, like he's waiting for Derek to crawl between his legs and take him. Kate bites back a snarl. This one is bold. The fall wasn't even a convincing cover-up for what he's currently doing. But he doesn't have to be subtle, does he? Just needs a thin cover for any humans watching. Oh look, that guy just fell. After all, not many excuses to get on the ground in a submissive position. He's just lying there, like a bitch in heat, and then he groans. Loudly. Derek practically jumps next to her and Kate tries to keep the murderous rage off her face, because fuck this guy, Derek is hers. He can't do this!

 

And then Stiles wiggles his body, shifting his hips back and forth, like what? He's just going to get comfortable there on the ground? Or hey, look at my body, it's right here at your feet, Derek. Notice me yet? Kate eyes Derek to see his reaction and Derek has gone still as a statue and is just staring at Stiles, watching every movement Stiles makes very carefully. Kate's pretty sure Derek's forgotten she's even standing next to him. Fuck!

 

The emissary in training finally—finally!—stops his utterly shameless display a moment later. He slowly stands up and Kate has to watch Derek watch Stiles as Stiles rises from the ground. Stiles says something that more or less amounts to “bye, see you later” and then walks away and strokes. His. Own. Ass. Kate just watches him walk away, open mouthed, shocked. Derek looks like he's been hit between the eyes. Kate glances at Derek, whose face is currently beet-red, inwardly grimaces, and glances toward Derek's crotch to see how much damage has been done. Damn it, it looks like Derek is half-hard. Fuck that Stiles, he's ruining all her plans.

 

“I've got to...” Derek says breathless, “bye,” and runs off before Kate can say anything more.

 

What. The. Fuck.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Kate considers trying to seduce a different member of the Hale family, but no, Derek is the only one who probably won't insist that she meet the rest of the pack. Derek would keep her a secret, and that's her best chance. She'll just have to be smarter than Stiles. He's a high school kid, she can do this.

 

Her next chance comes only a few days later, when she sees Derek enter a burger joint for lunch while she happens to be driving by. And by happens to be driving by, she means she's more or less been stalking Derek most of the day. He's a werewolf, though, so she has to be careful and keep out of hearing and smelling distance, but he hasn't even caught on. She smiles to herself, parks the car, gets out and goes for a short run. Stiles has no idea what he's getting into. She knows how to use these tactics too, and Derek will be hers before long.

 

She enters the place Derek is eating at after she's worked up a light sweat, orders her food and pretends to be surprised to see Derek when she searches for a place to sit.

 

“Hi, sweetie,” she says in best flirting voice. Derek says “hi” cautiously back, and he doesn't even recognize her. Right.

 

“I just had to say hi, after the way we met,” she begins and Derek is nodding his head in that polite way people do when they have no idea who they are talking to but they think it might be too rude to say “who are you again?”

 

“Can I sit here?” Kate asks, waving at one empty bench on the other side of the table and Derek nods. As she sits down she concentrates very hard on thinking about Derek naked. Him under her while she rides his cock, and slaps his face, calls him an animal, and the breathless noises he would make under her to get herself riled up so she smells interested. It works, because Derek's nose twitches. Yes.

 

Kate leans forward and is about to breathlessly ask Derek about how his burger tastes, when a familiar voice says “Derek! Hi!” Kate wants to hit her head on the table. Seriously? Stiles again?

 

Stiles comes stumbling over and waves at them both, bouncing on his feet.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Stiles really, really should not say hi to Derek. He should pretend like he doesn't even see Derek and walk out and get his lunch elsewhere, but this place has the best curly fries ever, and he just doesn't know when to quit. It was his same problem when he had a crush on Lydia too.

 

So, like an idiot, he's trying to talk to Derek again, like he hadn't already humiliated himself enough the last time, but at least now he can say Derek for sure remembers him. Oh yeah, Derek remembers him. Derek is looking right at him with a lot of recognition in his eyes. This is probably a bad thing and it makes Stiles nervous. And Stiles has enough problems with his attention span, but add in nerves, and he's suddenly he's got both short attention span and bad impulse control to deal with. ADHD is a bitch.

 

So, in typical Stiles' fashion, he finds himself talking, it's his default setting, and he's currently rambling about the migratory habits of different species of birds, there's a Monty Python joke in there somewhere, why is he talking about the migratory habits of birds? And he's desperately casting about for a distraction so he can stop his own rambling when he notices Derek has curly fries on his plate. And Stiles is, well, he's conditioned. He's like Pavlov's dog, okay? And its all Scott's fault, because Scott always share his curly fries with him, okay? So instead of thinking how weird it would be, Stiles just asks, “Oh, hey, can I have some of your curly fries?” Derek doesn't say anything back, just opens his mouth but remains soundless. Which isn't a no, so Stiles sits on the bench next to Derek and grabs a few of the curly fries and stuffs them into his mouth because at least it will keep him from talking. Victory, Stiles has stopped his own disastrous diatribe on the migratory habits of birds. He rather proud of himself. He's a little surprised when a second later Derek hands him the whole carton of fries from Derek's plate.

 

Huh, Derek must have realized it's a way to get Stiles to shut up. So, once again in burning humiliation, Stiles accepts the fries, and uses them to keep his mouth occupied. He is done talking, no more talking. It upsets Derek. Derek and he will just have to find a way to make a relationship work without Stiles talking. Who is he kidding? There will never be a Derek and Stiles relationship. But it's nice to dream. The woman sitting with Derek tries to strike up a normal conversation, but it seems Stiles isn't the only one Derek isn't in the mood to talk to because he keeps only giving distracted nods and grunts her direction, like he can't be bothered to keep his side of the conversation going. The woman is beginning to look annoyed, and whoa, hey now, keeps giving Stiles murderous glances. What did Stiles do? He's being perfectly quiet, just sitting here, eating fries. Oh man, he just ran out of fries. He's going to have to leave before he starts talking again, but Derek shoves his half-eaten burger into Stile's hands as soon he's done eating the fries, and Derek must really be desperate to keep him quiet. But if it is an excuse to keep basking next to Derek's glory for a few minutes longer, Stiles will take it. Stiles begins to eat the burger too and tries not to think too much about the fact he has his mouth on something that Derek just had his mouth on, and god, it's just a burger, he needs to stop.

 

There's the sound of a glass clattering to the table and suddenly soda everywhere, and the woman is saying “Oh my god, I'm so sorry.” And despite her murderous looks just a minute ago, Stiles feels bad for her, because he's done more than his fair share of drink spillages, and so reaches across the table to grab some napkins from the napkin dispenser, and damn it, he's leaned too far over the table and the edge of his shirt has drooped onto the table and is currently doing what the napkins should be doing. Stiles jerks back, napkins in hand, but its too late, he has a big wet spot on his shirt. Yuck. Its cold and its clinging to his skin. And this is why Stiles hates water rides at amusement parks too. Yeah, they are fun at first, but then you get off the ride and you have wet, uncomfortable fabric clinging to you. Its okay, Stiles can deal, he's fine. He starts mopping up some of the spilled drink with the napkins when he sees the ice cream that was in the cup too, and oh, that wasn't just soda.

 

“Hey, that was a root beer float,” Stiles says excitedly. Man, he loves root beer floats, and some of the liquid has gotten on his hands, too much of it for the napkins to battle without his hands being getting a little wet, so he sticks one of his fingers in his mouth to taste it, and yep, root beer float. Stiles looks over to Derek, because it suddenly occurs to him he's probably being an idiot again and wants to gauge how close Derek is to hitting him. Oh man, really close. He's staring, practically unblinking, right at Stiles and is leaning towards him. Stiles tries not to squeak, pulls his finger from his mouth, and stands up in a hurry, trying to decide how to best get out of there, when a person joins the group. It's Laura, one of Derek's sisters, and she's standing right behind Stiles, effectively trapping Stiles.

 

“Hi Derek,” Laura says, and her face does a funny contortion, like maybe she smelled something bad. Weird. Stiles is trying to plan an escape, but at least Derek won't hit him while Laura is here, right? Laura can protect him. Yuck, the wet corner of his shirt is clinging to his skin. Try to ignore, try to ignore it... Stiles gives up and pulls the offending fabric as far away from his skin as he can. He grimaces at it. And, oh wait, it's the perfect excuse.

 

“Oh hey, sorry to go,” Stiles says, interrupting whatever Laura was saying, he honestly wasn't paying any attention so he's not sure what it was, “I'm just going to go change my shirt,” and he gets the hell out of dodge. He's muttering to himself as he walks away from them and absently twists the wet corner of his shirt while still holding it as far away from his skin as possible. It pulls his shirt tighter as he continues to twist the corner of fabric, trying to wring it out. “I hate wet clothes,” he mutters to himself.

 

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Stiles has shown up, again, and Kate could kill him. Only, wait, she's the one whose been running and he hasn't, so let's see who wins this round, buddy. Derek's attention is definitely being pulled between the two of them, but Stiles is currently talking about... geese?

 

“Loss of habit and man-made lakes have actually disrupted the migratory habits...”

 

Derek is nodding at him like he's trying to pretend that he's listening, but he's really just very confused.

 

“The numbers grow to be so great, they are considered pests,” Stiles continues, and what was he talking about again, Canadian geese?

 

Is this a code for something? A subtle dig at hunters? A compliment to werewolves? What the hell?

 

But whatever he's doing, it's not working, because all it is doing is effectively losing Derek's attention. Derek keeps looking back to Kate, his nostrils flaring as he smells the air, and she tries not to smirk. Stiles is up to the Bar-Tailed Godwits, and their annual migration from Alaska to New Zealand, when his endgame becomes clear.

 

“Oh, hey, can I have some of your curly fries?” Stiles asks. He. Did. Not. Kate takes a deep breath and wow, Stiles is no longer playing for a quick fuck. That's what this was all about, huh. Why he was willing to submit on the ground, why he was so blatant. He wants Derek to claim him. To feed him, make it obvious he is Derek's. An emissary would know what this sort of thing means, and that's why he needed to let Derek know he wasn't just an ordinary human. Because when he asks Derek to feed him, to eat the food off Derek's own plate, he's asking Derek to do something only mates do. It means that if you want to mount me, you've got to give me the mating bite. And well, he wouldn't be the first emissary to be mated to a member of the pack. Derek looks like he wants to, really wants to, but knows he shouldn't, he really, really shouldn't.

 

Kate needs to stop this, stop this now. Or by this evening, Derek could be mated, and she wouldn't even have a chance. She's about to suggest Stiles get his own fries, when Stiles sits down next to Derek, sidles right up to him, and takes a few of the fries off Derek's tray. He eats them, right in Derek's face, and Derek is apparently a slave to his own hormones, Kate could roll her eyes, because Stiles isn't even finished with his mouthful when Derek shoves the entire carton of fries in Stiles' hands, just so he can watch Stiles eat them. Wolves are so weird.

 

Kate sits there, and tries to get Derek to talk about the lacrosse game, because maybe talking about his younger brother's lacrosse game will distract Derek, but Derek's too busy pretending Stiles is already his mate. Ugh, Kate always hated this part of the seduction process. She's done it before, pretended she wanted to be a wolf's mate. And they do stupid shit like this, get off on providing, and she's always had to grin and bear it. Only she beginning to suspect with Stiles, he's not pretending. When Derek hands over the burger, Kate has had it. There needs to be an interruption, stat. She knocks over her own drink.

 

There's a scramble to clean up the root beer float that is now everywhere, and Kate thinks that she's effectively broken the moment, up until Stiles pretends to “help her” and drags his shirt through the drink spilled on the table. Part of it is now wet and clinging to him, and maybe the guy likes to wear loose shirts, but if the way that shirt is now clinging is any indication, he's not all lacking in the muscle department. Still, it's a weak comeback, Derek is going to come to his senses any moment now and realize getting mated to a student still in High School is a bad idea. Then Stiles sticks his finger in his mouth. What.

 

Kate almost snarls out, “why don't you just suck on them, you aren't fooling anyone with what you're doing,” but before she can completely lose her temper, Stiles is standing up and Derek's sister has walked over to join the group. Derek has stood up too and, fuck Kate's life, she notices he's got his leather jacket hanging in front of him, effectively hiding his crotch from view, and has a white-knuckled grip on it, like maybe he's hiding something. Laura scents the air and gives her brother a disgusted look. Derek looks humiliated.

 

Kate would have thought Laura coming over would have interrupted Stiles' own weird version of a mating dance he's got going on, but then he pulls his shirt away from his chest and up slightly, so that his stomach is on view for the entire world. And Kate could hit this little shit, he's clearly smarter than he looks, because this new move means his happy trail is just visible if you're looking for it, and Derek is definitely looking for it. Derek is failing at being subtle about it in fact. Stiles doesn't even have an excuse for this! He just, what, is going to stand in a public building with his shirt half-way hiked up? Can Kate call a manager over here and get him thrown out?

 

Laura has already started subtly grilling Derek about what's going on, asking pointed questions, and looking like she's enjoying Derek's discomfort. Stiles interrupts with a “Oh hey, sorry to go, I'm just going to go change my shirt,” and promptly leaves. As he's walking away, he's twisting the shirt corner in his hands so that the shirt goes from loose to tight around his chest and hikes up some in the back. He has two dimples, low on his back, right above the waistband of his jeans. Kate will give him this, the kid knows what he's got going for him. Derek is trying to watch him walk away from the corner of his eye without giving away to his sister what he's doing.

 

But Stiles' own inexperience has just given him away, because what he should have done was stick around and go for the kill. Well, figuratively. And Kate is still here while Stiles isn't. “I'm just... I'm going to use the bathroom really fast,” Derek says, like it isn't the most transparent excuse ever. Laura gives Derek was is simultaneously both a horrified and a triumphant look. Like she enjoys watching Derek's discomfort, but never wanted to know that much about Derek's boners.

 

“You should, uh, you should go help him,” Laura suggests as soon as Derek has entered the bathroom at the far end of the restaurant, “the door locks. I'm, uh, I'm glad he's finally found someone.” And while Laura has clearly misinterpreted who the boner is for, that's not a bad idea. You snooze, you lose, Kate thinks. Stiles has made his fatal mistake.

 

Only when Kate knocks on the bathroom door, Derek says, “Just a minute,” and before Kate can correct him and say, “Oh no, I'm here to help you,” Derek is opening the door and stepping out. Kate glances toward his crotch, but there's no longer any raging boner in sight. Aw fuck. Derek's face is still red, though, and he looks relaxed. Really relaxed. And happy. He's practically swaggering, in fact. “Excuse me,” he says and walks past her and barely glances at her. Kate wants to yell after him, did you seriously come as soon as you touched your dick?


End file.
